I am losing my hard-on for the moment.
The steam created by all we cooked up together, for me, was copious
and I thought it would just keep on coming.
Alas, it does run out and these days I need to work up
the steam from your touches,
and from the sweetness of your desire for me.
You, of course, are doing your thing
and your thing is getting better
and you say it is partly, or largely because of me.
Problem is, my thing was finding a home with you.
But now you are gone. A lot. Doing your thing elsewhere.
I do get it. I understand.
It is just that this does not help me with my thing.
And yes, I can do my thing with others but then
that changes everything, doesn’t it? I mean, over time?
If I do my thing with others, will I fall in love with them,
and less in love with you?
I feel that you need me and want me here—
to come back to, to connect with.
I am keeping the homestead happening
for those reunions.
But I do not want that. That is not my vocation.
My vocation is to have a great love affair with you,
with life, with beauty and creation.
I need help with the hearth
I get so lit up by having you next to me,
having you fully attuned to the space between us.
That gets me hot.
So we have a little problem.
when can we talk about our things
and our steam?